Remember Me
by Miah-Arthur
Summary: Amenadiel sneered. "No. You and I don't have 'fun.' Returning you to Hell is a duty I have been assigned by Father. I would not willingly be here."


**Notes:** Thanks to my betas Hircine_Taoist and Maimat

Whumptober 2019 #altno. 14 Touch Starved

* * *

**Remember Me**

by

Miah . Arthur

* * *

"Clothe yourself, Lucifer. Stop this foolishness and return to your proper place."

Lucifer sighed. His companions were lovely. Lovely and warm and full of life. They slumbered around him, their desires fulfilled. After they had been sated, he'd greedily grabbed what he desired. He slithered his way amongst them, burying himself in the glory of their skin touching his.

He extricated himself from the group, Amenadiel shielding his eyes from his nakedness. Lucifer snorted and strutted about the chamber searching for his clothes. It mattered little what he put on. Hell would only take it from him. But he would hold onto it as long as he could, as he always did. He'd hold it as fragment by fragment it disintegrated to dust.

He followed Amenadiel outside, away from prying human eyes. His brother didn't speak.

Maybe this time…

He sidled up close to Amenadiel. "Brother. Stay for a while. These humans have domesticated a plant called 'tea'. It is most refreshing. Sit with me for an hour and share a pot with me?"

Amenadiel sneered at him and deliberately stepped further away. "Why would I do that, Lucy?"

"It would be fun!"

"No. You and I don't have 'fun.' Returning you to Hell is a duty I have been assigned by Father. I would not willingly be here speaking to _you_."

Lucifer stopped walking. He wanted to… He sighed. He wanted what he could never have. He saw the humans when he visited. The way brothers clapped one another on the back or tousled the other's hair. The pats and touches and hand holding. He saw the way they stood near one another without malice in their eyes. The soft pull of one to another's chest with no sexual desire expressed at all.

And he, wretched abomination that he was, he stole touches like these from the humans. Under the guise of making deals, under the cover of their slumber, he hoarded them into his heart, to hold onto until next he could slip past the security binding him in Hell. The ghosts of those stolen touches lasted far longer than the silk and flax and leather that crumbled into dust or the metal that corroded into rust. Even gold diminished in Hell until nothing remained.

He'd seen the malice and the hate and the hurting ways humans touched each other, too, of course. And he'd seen the pain those caused. But pain meant you felt _something_. Lucifer thought of the souls that cried out for something, _anything_ to remind them that they existed. To tell them that they weren't forgotten. That even if no one cared enough to love them that at least someone cared enough to hurt them.

Amenadiel didn't care enough to love or hurt him, but Lucifer knew he cared about his duty and fulfilling it. He could _make_ his brother touch him. Make him stay longer. Make him interact.

"Amenadiel. Relax. Spend an hour with me. Hell will still be there." He wanted the love. He'd always seek it first. He knew it was futile, but he had to try.

Amenadiel spun to face him. "You will return immediately! You never should have left."

So be it. Lucifer smiled. The predator baring its teeth smile that he learned from Maze. "No."

Amenadiel stormed into his space, looming over him. "You _will_ return."

Lucifer leaned forward until their noses nearly touched. "No. I won't."

Amenadiel threw a punch that Lucifer had plenty of time to dodge. He plotted the fight in his mind; dodge left, push Amenadiel's arm down, using his own momentum to slam him face first into the dust. Amenadiel would charge him from a low center of gravity, and in response he'd flap his wings to go above and use his feet to send Amenadiel back to the ground.

Lucifer knew he could dodge and push and taunt his brother all day, but he stood in place and took the blow. His head snapped to the side, but he held his ground. He straightened and spat blood, grinning. "You think one punch is going to get me through those gates?"

Amenadiel tried to grab him, and that he dodged. He didn't want to be carried back just yet. Drawing Amenadiel close with taunts, taking punches, feinting away from restraint—he drew the engagement out far longer than the hour he had pleaded for. He wouldn't fight his brother. He could never, not after… He almost mistimed his dodge, Amenadiel's hand grazing his side. He refocused on keeping the engagement going. It lasted until he misjudged which Amenadiel to dodge and was caught. Squeezed tight to Amenadiel's chest until he gasped for air. The grip slackened enough that he he didn't faint, but he lay against Amenadiel's chest as if he had.

His ribs and stomach and head and especially his face _hurt_. But he smiled. Amenadiel had beaten him far beyond what was required to merely carry out his duty. His brother _cared_ enough to want to hurt him.

He wasn't forgotten.


End file.
